The world moves with such randomness that it can situate you in something that looks like a carefully orchestrated coincidence.
A few days ago, I submitted an application document to join a nonprofit organization and in there I talked about my goal to start disability advocacy and so this early morning, I was up searching for wallpapers and I landed on a few options titled disability pride, disability diversity and disability & nature. Each of them consisted of bright colours, flowers illustrated as human avatars doing human and flower-like things: using a wheelchair or a flower watering another flower.
I looked at my idea of disability advocacy and these illustrations and I couldn't reconcile both. If I was rash with my feelings, I may have felt insulted as a somewhat disabled person. I don't feel good about saying that because by outward appearances, I'm not disabled. I also thought that illustration was a unique American self-aggrandizement of inclusivity by people who have no idea the needs of disabled people or how problematic and unhelpful it can be to group the entire range of human disability under a single umbrella.
Maybe it was designed by or for a disability activist, was my more generous explanation of those paintings; those who wear their causes all over their body and lives. I see how that can be appealing to them because the only other option that remained was a disability ally which didn't make sense to me but will be accepted by the wider narcissistic, do-good 'progressive' populace.
I didn’t see myself — reluctant to accept my disabilities, selecting any of these—frankly unappealing pictures as my wallpaper out of some loyalty to what has been delineated for me as my identity by people who don’t care or understand enough to care.
Then again, I may be wrong. I just wanted a cute wallpaper, I didn't need to go into all these
